i write to you today with a heavy heart. in these times where the holidays are close and there should be laughter, joy and wonder, there is also loads of sadness, sorrow and contempt.
apart from the world’s’ issues this one is closer to my home, and maybe yours as well.
today my husband has lost a friendship. if it were one worth saving he would have done so
if it were not for his ex-wife’s plot to ruin his good name he would not have the opportunity to know who his friends really are, so…. i thank her for doing this dirty job of weeding out the bad seeds in his life.
but what saddens me the most is that there is this special little girl who deserves to see her father the way he really is. yet she is not a child but a soon to be adolescent who lives across the ocean from him and despite court orders has only come to visit twice , once for 4 days and this past summer for 2 weeks, instead of 5.
this woman who holds captive people based on her martyrdom. i have never witnessed anyone to be so manipulative and destructive. how does she get people to stay by her side even when she has beaten them to a pulp, robbed them, lied , cheated and done unspeakable acts?? how does this happen?
but more , how can this poisoning end not just for my husband who gets insulting messages from people , but for his daughter as well, who doesn’t have the chance to spend time with her father and is being told (directly or indirectly) how her father is a monster.
my own daughter loves him to bits, (i have separated from her father when she was 3 years old. due to a violent relationship) i have stayed single for almost 10 years since i remarried now. never would this have happened if this man i now call my husband and have know for 5 years as a friend if he were any resemblance to what this woman says of him.
it bares mentioning that he was still married to her , one who i also considered a friend….
until i started noticing the abuse
at first it was signs i noticed from his behaviour that resembled mine and others who have experienced a violent relationship. then as she slowly started to show her real face to me , i was witness and victim to her abuse and manipulation towards me and her husband. (as well as some of her friends)
further observation showed that i wasn’t the only one who knew. co-workers also noticed bite marks , cuts, and bruises on him… and how they avoided her because of her character.
and so madame has chosen to blame me in the end , having introduced me to her friends here in my town where i grew up, and then hung me out to dry as her husband’s mistress.
sure things have turned out as they are now , but she never mentioned the fact that i was her mistress to begin with , at her beck and call. my naiveness and stupidity are not what this post is about just to add context and honesty.
how to end this woman’s rampage on 2 lives is the issue, how can someone be so cruel and any benefits to reap from her misdoings she already has. drained someone financially and morally . what are her benefits in continuing to do so? when will this end and what is to become of this little girls who through 5 years of having seen the type of mothering is more obvious to me now to be a money bag? what happens to her when she turns 16? her father holds communication but there is hardly a hello from the girl now for three months….
something fishy is definitely going on there, as the times she has visited though brief were spent in complete happiness and remarkable acceptance from her. the two girls , his and mine have been friends for 5 years and have been as sisters , so now they are truly. their relationship has not changed , my relationship with her has not changed , she still jokes an wrestles me to the ground in fits of tickle fights and laughter, but with her father , her best friend closer to him the to her own mother , has been a little strained…
how can this be helped? how can the threatening messages stop and the abuse from other parties who only know half a truth if it is even that?
the courts you might think. but we have no money to fight. especially now since madam has gone back to practice law…. yes, she is now a lawyer. having once before been a head nurse , (knowing all about the wonderful drugs and illnesses) to uprooting her husband and small child across the ocean, becoming a stay at home mother with no income and fully dependant (on prescription meds from her many illnesses that seem to come and go)
yes , then to abandon her husband by divorcing him blaming him for her relapse on crack and moving back across the ocean with child and money just as she has told me she would do , now a lawyer ….. this is a shit storm and my patience in writing now has turned ugly
its a frustrating plot even more so once you add all the botched immigration forms and cutting ties with his family , he is now slowly getting back in touch with them….
life for him is getting better, he sees his value, he knows his worth , he is well loved and respected as a human as a man. but he misses his daughter, i miss his daughter, this is time that we and she , won’t have back again. and he does so much to insure a good future for her , he works so hard , they both deserve better.
our only rescue is time, and the hope that life can turn out to be good if you are good, if you say your thank you for all you have , be humble and help others , see others as your equal… then maybe something out there will take care of the things you can’t readily help.
if any of you are in this situation , know you are not alone, there is worse, and be thankful that that is all and no more. better things are to come and all eventually comes to pass. good or bad.
NOT4IDLEHANDS 